I watched way more movies than I read books this year. And sadly, I’d seen many of the movies before. Here is a brief overview of how I wasted my time in 2012:

Return of the Living Dead: I’ve seen it so many times, and love it more each time I watch it. I am also in love with the mortician, even though it is subtly implied that he is a Nazi.

Revenge of the Pink Panther: Peter Seller’s final real appearance as the moronic detective. Pretty fun.

Corky Romano: It’s from 2001, but it feels so 80’s. I quite like Chris Kattan in this.

The Mist: A pretty good adaptation, but I didn’t like the altered ending. I know Stephen King loved it, but he hated Kubrick’s The Shining, so his opinion is irrelevant.

An American Werewolf in London: I’ve seen it a bunch of times. And I will see it many more times. The best werewolf film ever.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: Grim, but fascinating.

The Woman in Black: Daniel Radcliffe’s grown-up role. Not bad, with some creepy moments. Not worth buying though.

Ghost: My brother’s girlfriend bought it for him so I was kinda forced to watch it. I don’t hate it.

Tintin: Truly amazing animation, and an entertaining story.

The Incredibles: I love this film.

Chronicle: I was really impressed by this one. What would happen if high school kids got super powers? What if one was an outcast and from an abusive home?

Cowboys and Aliens: I watched this twice. Once was enough. Not terrible, and the cast and visuals were great, but I wasn’t blown away by it.

The Thing (prequel): Fairly faithful to the original, but it TRULY did not need to be made. It adds nothing, has some glaring errors, and it absolutely cannot capture the tension and brilliance of the original. Not bad, but utterly pointless.

Green Lantern: I don’t know why I watched this twice. I do like Mark Strong though. A lot.

Bad Teacher: I was on a plane. There weren’t many choices.

John Carter: Pretty cool, even though it bombed. Poorly marketed. Cool fact: I worked on a film with Taylor Kitsch later in the summer after seeing this.

Crazy, Stupid, Love: I am deeply in love with Steve Carell. I watched four movies starring him in 2012.

Coriolanus: A faithful production of the Shakespeare play. Tons of intensity from lovely Ralph Fiennes.

Evil Dead 2: My favourite film ever. I was introducing this to some people who had never seen it. They didn’t get the awesomeness. I feel very sad for them.

The Marsupials: The Howling III: Oh my god. What the HELL did I just watch.

Silver Bullet: Yay werewolves! Everett McGill is a creepy man.

Re-Animator: This probably ties with Evil Dead 2 as my favourite film, actually. I was showing it to some people because we were about to have Jeffrey Combs at the convention we run. He was every bit as sweet and lovely as I had hoped. And gorgeous.

Cabin in the Woods: What can I say? A nerdboy’s homage to all things horror. A fan letter to the genre. Tons of fun.

The Raven: Why has no one seen this film? I thought it was great. One of John Cusack’s best performances. And who is that gorgeous Luke Evans creature?

The Avengers: I saw this three times, of course. I kept hoping the whole Agent Coulson thing would fix itself.

Porky’s: Often described as the most successful Canadian film ever. Not really Canadian, and a stupid sex comedy to boot.

Howling V: Forgettable. Something about a bunch of people in a castle and there’s a werewolf or something? I dunno.

Dark Shadows: Johnny Depp and Tim Burton really need some time apart.

The Edge: That film where Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin fight a bear, and each other. Quite good.

Carnage: Sounds violent. Isn’t. Based on a stage play about 2 sets of parents discussing a fight between their respective kids. Fantastic performances from John C. Reilly, Kate Winslett, Jodie Foster and Christoph Waltz.

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion: There was nothing else on.

Men in Black III: Kinda cool. Not really worth watching again, but Jemaine Clement ate up every scrap of scenery he could get his multiple sets of teeth on.

Insidious: A truly creepy film that kinda falls apart at the end. But seriously, fantastic at building tension.

Prometheus: Oh for frig’s sake. One of the stupidest, most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. At first I was confused. Then I was angry. And then I was all meh.

Jane Eyre: There is ZERO chemistry between Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender. I actually lost a lot of respect for Fassbender’s acting skills while watching this.

The Postman Always Rings Twice: I’d never seen this classic before. Really quite good.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: I watched this seven times and bought it on DVD and Blu-ray. If you haven’t seen it, go now and watch it. NOW. And I promise you it is just as funny the seventh time. Share it with your friends.

Centurion: What the hell is up with all this Fassbender? This Romans in Scotland film is pretty entertaining though.

Juan of the Dead: I saw this at the wonderful Toronto After Dark film Festival when I went there for a dear friend’s funeral. A uniquely Cuban take on the zombie apocalypse. Pretty fun.

The Pact: A decent film about a woman in a super creepy house. I can’t remember a lot of the details, but I did like it.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin: Everyone has seen this, right? Lots of fun.

How to Train Your Dragon: Holy crap the animation in this is spectacular.

Wrecked: Adrien Brody wakes up in a wrecked car at the bottom of a ravine. He has amnesia and lots of injuries, and he struggles mightily to get to safety. Mesmerizing. I don’t know why it doesn’t have a higher rating on IMDB.

The Bourne Legacy: Pretty good addition to the series. I do love Jeremy Renner.

Mansome: A comedic documentary about masculinity and grooming.

Goon: Sweet Sean William Scott falls into the life of a hockey enforcer. Entertaining and beautifully, ridiculously violent. Written by Jay Baruchel, who co-stars along with his wife Alison Pill.

The Manchurian Candidate (original): I saw and loved the remake a few years ago, and the original is fantastic.

Kindergarten Cop: Again, there was nothing else on tv.

50/50: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is always incredible, and this story about dealing with cancer is really well-done. Funny and heart-breaking and hopeful and real.

The Help: I love Emma Stone, and this was entertaining enough, but it didn’t have much of an effect on me.

Galaxy Quest: Saw it twice this year alone. Another film that stays just as funny and wonderful with repeat viewings. You will be amazed at how many top-notch actors are in this movie.

The Grey: Oh Liam. I love you despite this mess.

Crank: You really don’t need your brain for this movie. In fact, it would be best if you just left it in a drawer or cupboard somewhere until the film is over.

Iron Sky: A German comedy about Nazis on the moon? Yes.

Aliens: One of the best god-damn sequels ever. I named my dog after Bill Paxton’s character.

Alien3: I don’t care if it’s the director’s cut, it still sucks.

Looper: Did I mention that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is amazing? How did this guy actually pull off playing a young Bruce Willis? He does though, in a hundred subtle ways. This film also has the singularly most disturbing take on the dangers of time travel ever. You will know the scene when you see it.

Tangled: One of my favourite animated films. Beautiful, full of heart, funny, and heart-breaking.

Blood Simple.: The Coen brothers first film. Fantastic, brutal, amazing.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: This was painful to watch. Abrasive.

Bedlam: A 1946 film with beautiful Boris Karloff as a real scumbag. A strong-willed woman looks in to the terrible conditions in his asylum, and he has her committed as punishment.

Frankenstein: More Karloff! Beautiful.

Red Hill: Ryan Kwanten of True Blood fame plays a cop on his first day in rural Australia. An escaped convict return to the town for bloody revenge.

The Blob (original): The remake was waaaaay better. But hey, it’s a classic.

Anchorman: I finally saw this. Now I know where “I love lamp” comes from.

The Poiseidon Adventure (miniseries): A tv version of the classic film about a cruise ship that ends up capsized and sinking. I thought this might be a good comeback for Steve Guttenberg but he was DREADFUL.

The 6th Day: Arnie being Arnie, fighting clones. High point: Michael Rooker as a badass, of course.

Red Dawn (original): Remember when we were afraid of the Russkies?

The Amazing Spiderman: I watched this an a plane. Pretty good. I still haven’t seen the end though.

Skyfall: I really like Daniel Craig.

Devil’s Night (aka Left for Dead): My friends worked on this little indie horror years ago. Two days after seeing it I realized the male protagonist was the hero girl, through and through. This amuses me, and I assume it was intentional.

Premium Rush: Again, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is amazing. And Michael Shannon is brilliant as well. Exciting as all get-out.

Unknown: I liked this better the second time around. Partially because I watched it with my brother who was utterly sucked in and baffled. I love seeing Liam kick ass.

Legion: A pretty uninspiring angelic apocalypse film. If god really wanted to wipe us out, I think he could do a more effective job. I do like the fight scenes between angels though, just because their wings are cool.

The Marsh: A Canadian film about a woman exploring her past in a haunted house. Not bad.

The ‘Burbs: I hadn’t seen this in years. Not as funny as I remembered, but ok.

The Hobbit: Too much cgi, no sense of peril. I was unaffected. But the scenes with Gollum were indeed amazing.

They Live: Rowdy Roddy Piper in John Carpenter’s paranoid sci-fi cult film. You will watch it for the absurd and absurdly long fight scene. Obey.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World: More Steve Carell. The planet is doomed and Steve hangs out with Keira Knightly, who is way too shrill for my liking. But an entertaining film nonetheless.

Elf: One of the few christmas movies I kinda like. And it has Tyrion Lannister in it!

Love Actually: I enjoy this one too. It’s hard to watch Liam Neeson mourning for a dead wife though. And the segment with Rick from The Walking Dead is just pathetic and sad.

Brave: Animated movies are just amazing these days, aren’t they? Not as engaging a story as many others, but fun and beautiful just the same.

Terminator 3: Worse than I remembered. And Chris Hardwick looks really bloated. I’m glad he got past that rough patch in his life.

Predator: A classic. You don’t need to hear any more from me.

Predator 2: The scene in the subway is how the NRA thinks the world should be. Except that everyone with a gun dies.

The Pink Panther: The original. It is surprising how little time is spent on Peter Sellers. But the time that is, is golden.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein: Ridiculous, of course. Also includes Dracula, the Wolfman, and The Invisible Man.

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